white women of hollywood, reducing japan and japanese culture to cupcakes, sexy ”costumes” and submissive sex-kittens since god knows when
What would Earth Day be if you didn’t listen to this at least once today? NOTHING. lol. Really though I hope you’re all having a great day <3
'Earth Song'- Michael Jackson
Workout complete and I am exhausted u.u
I’m having my own weird little mind celebration atm lol. On the phone last night with Jace when we got onto the subject of my weight, and how it’s changed in the year since I moved. I’ve had literally less than a handful of people ask me about it, and so I figured there wasn’t much of a difference.
This is where Jace comes in as a staple in my life, and usually a much needed voice of reason. He starts picking my brain to figure out where I see myself weight wise, and after about 2 hours of debating each other [his side being, Rachel you’re crazy] and mine being I still feel that I look like the girl who left Alabama a year ago…..
We made some comparison pictures, in the attempt of us both proving that we were right lol. He won, so meh. And then I went through this weird little moment of awe like…holy crap…. I did it? I’m not quite where I want to be [getting close though!!!], but progress is progress and now that I can actually see the progress in myself thanks to his help I’m a little giddy and confused.
So I bring you the comparison pictures!
[The middle photo is back in AL before I left, the two outside photos are from this month -bathroom in the same tank, and on the blue carpet at SnowBall2014]
[The top row of photos are from back in AL before I left, and the bottom are all [recent within 1-2 months] from here in CO]
[Top row from AL before I left, bottom from CO within the last 1-2 months]
It’s Easter and 4-20, so needless to say the family is up and doing their church thing etc. And I’ve been maintaining a steady tokage since midnight.
Whichever you’re celebrating, or if you’re celebrating both! Have a good one :D. [Seriously though guys, please smoke responsibly♥♥] I’ll be floating around here all day, so let’s chat in the ask place or something ^^
Mapei- ‘Don’t Wait’
♥My heart is so addicted to this song. If you asked me for the theme song in my mind for all the amazing friendships I’ve found in the last year since moving to CO….and the crazy strong friendships that have lasted with friends from back in the south since then? This would be it.♥
"A friend indeed, come build me up
Come share your light, it makes me shine
You get the message, don’t you ever forget it
Let’s laugh and cry, until we die
If it wasn’t for you, I’d be alone
If it wasn’t for you, I’d be on my own
Don’t wait ‘til I do wrong
Don’t wait ‘til I put up a fight
You won my heart, without a question
Don’t wait for life
I care for you, I talk to you
In my deepest dreams, I’m fortunate
We got a friendship, no one can contest it
And not to mention, I respect you with my all…”
So hopefully this will find you at some point, but even if it doesn’t at least I can still have the sense that I got it all out of me.
To be honest this exact situation is the reason why I refused to entertain the idea of any relationship with you beyond friendship. I mean seriously Michael? Blocking all the information etc. that would have shown you were in a relationship? Lucky us someone texted my old phone number looking for me, and in a weird turn of events it came to my knowledge that said old phone was in the possession of your current girlfriend. Whom I had no idea about, and let’s be honest your ‘I still love you, I still want to marry you, you’re the one…etc’ deal didn’t necessarily lend to the idea that you did in fact have a girlfriend.
I love how quick you are to say ‘I blocked her because, I wanted no part in it.’ How noble of you, not wanting to own up to your own mistakes and transgressions once again, but rather sliding them off onto someone who was quite simply nothing more than a victim [once again, how naive of me] of whatever sickness it is you seem to have.
This whole situation? Don’t blame it on anyone, but yourself good friend. You’re the one who hid the fact from me. Obviously you hid it from Christy as well, even though she did mention having caught you talking to some girl in GA previously. After all the times I caught you when we were together, after the fact that it drove me halfway across the country to get away from you [not upset in the least by this, it’s been the best year of my life]….you would think after that someone with some kind of sense would have learned a lesson.
Seeing as how that was the initial train of thought when you messaged me earlier, I responded. I figured A.] That whole mess was kind of a big deal, hopefully by now he learned from it and moved on….and B.] With everything that happened I can at least still manage to be friends in some way with him.
But tonight the moment I learned that it was actually Christy who had the phone and had received the message…and that you two were in fact a ‘current’ item? I had to say something.
All of the pain, heartache, guilt, tears, frustration, anger, sadness, that was caused by your actions when we were together? I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. As the realization of you being right back to your old tricks without a care for who you’re hurting or how negatively your actions effect others, [and don’t say you care, if you really truly did none of this would’ve happened.] Every single one of those emotions came flooding back, in a terrifying wave.
Here’s the meat of the whole thing. You need to grow up. You need to take responsibility for the way things you do, things you’ve done, things you will do might come back to haunt you if you don’t handle them. A three year old learns after the first time they reach out to touch a candle and burn themselves, that it’s hot… it hurts, don’t do that again. And that’s just something small, physical, usually superficial.
After all the times your need to share your dick with random women on the internet and exes of yours has led to such horrible consequences. Two relationships now that I know of at least, ruined by it…. after you’re given multiple chances [for god only knows why] it’s not long before you’re right back at it.
I honestly hoped that you had changed, and obviously I was mistaken. People put faith in you, and it’s like you purposefully try to push those limits. If you continue on this way you’ll learn in time as the numbers of people around you start to dwindle that no one will put up with it forever.
As far as my limited re-run of faith in you that’s gone. I’ve already added you to my blocked numbers list, and blocked you on every other social media or public methods of contact that I have. Once this is finished and sent, I’ll gladly go back to my peaceful, happy existence. And hopefully you’ll simply take things to heart, ACTUALLY LEARN FROM IT, and go on about yours hopefully forgetting my existence as well.
What part of your overblown ego gives you the idea that you can treat women let alone anyone in that way? A good person decides to give you their time, to develop something that they view as special with you, and you consistently pay them back by choosing to spend your thoughts and emotional investments with others. Somehow you successfully manage pretty regularly to make the other person feel guilty for what you did, and so they stay. Knowing it’s not their fault, but still a part of them wrongly believes it is.
Logically speaking if a pattern arises with a common denominator….that might be where the issue stems from. The fact that you somehow found the audacity to unknowingly involve me in similar activities to what ruined our relationship so horribly is absolutely beyond me. And also shows not just how far gone you are, but also how far you’ll go.
I sincerely hope you learn something eventually from this, whether it’s this time around or when you find yourself at the 10th significant other of yours to catch you and walk out. You can’t have it all, and if you’re lucky enough to even have a piece you better fucking appreciate it for everything that it’s worth. Invest all of your time and energy into that ONE, because they’re more than worth it. They deserve nothing less. If you can’t offer them EVERYTHING when it comes to yourself, then you aren’t ready. Don’t bother if you can’t be honest to the point it pains you at times. Sit it out until the only thing you can think of, or want to do is commit. To them. Just them. No one else even blips on the radar.
You don’t place that value or heart in others, you fake it decently. Until you slip, and then they’re gone. I want for you to learn to spot that value as easily as you spot random women to lure behind the backs of those so fully committed to you. In that I also hope that you learn to feel real true happiness, rather than stuffing all of the empty spaces with whatever might might cover the gaps well. I want you to find something that actually fits.
'…I sincerely hope you learn something eventually from this, whether it's this time around or when you find yourself at the 10th significant other of yours to catch you and walk out. You can't have it all, and if you're lucky enough to even have a piece you better fucking appreciate it for everything that it's worth. Invest all of your time and energy into that ONE, because they’re more than worth it. They deserve nothing less. If you can’t offer them EVERYTHING when it comes to yourself, then you aren’t ready. Don’t bother if you can’t be honest to the point it pains you at times. Sit it out until the only thing you can think of, or want to do is commit. To them. Just them. No one else even blips on the radar.
You don’t place that value or heart in others, you fake it decently. Until you slip, and then they’re gone. I want for you to learn to spot that value as easily as you spot random women to lure behind the backs of those so fully committed to you. In that I also hope that you learn to feel real true happiness, rather than stuffing all of the empty spaces with whatever might might cover the gaps well. I want you to find something that actually fits…’
[And that in a nutshell is why we didn’t work out, and I called it quits 2 months before the wedding. It’s actually going to be a year since I left next week….so crazy.]
Moody Good- ‘Tumpy Bopkins Mix’
♥This mix is like my lifeline atm. Enjoy!♥
One nice bonus today? Just as I was about to hit that….’Crap, probably about to have a mental breakdown right now in the photo lab, fight the tears back.” Moment? Michael Jackson came on…. ‘Man In The Mirror’. Composure regained.
A bottle of red made with data.
Finding the perfect wine used to mean going to a good wine store, discussing your future meal with a sales person and trying to remember the wine the next time you buy. Now all you have to do is go to a website, like that of Bordeaux-based fine wine merchant Millesima. With data, they can help any customer, anywhere in the world, select the right bottle, for the right meal, the right climate, time of year, you name it. Plus you don’t have to soak off the label to remember the name and vintage when you want to buy it again. Explore more stories →
“If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with.”
Pocket Printer by Zuta Labs
Not only a portable design, but able to print on any size page.
it finally feels like 2014
Every once in a while there’s an invention you never knew you always needed.
Now you can type up your paper last minute and your teachers will never know!